September 2011 Retreat: Fishbowl Query 4

Query 4: Are our communities able to receive us as we are, as our most integrated self?

What would my life look like if the “self” was “fully integrated”? I must receive myself before my communities have that chance.

·         I am often quiet, so I cannot tell if I am being accepted or ignored.

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·         Sometimes I feel like I am held to a different standard, one where I am supposed to lead and elder. This leaves me scared to take risks – in life, in Love, with Spirit. I want to feel like all of me is held by my community even when I fall.

·         I am terrified that they are not able to. I think this is a big part of why I say I am terrified of people – I don’t believe that my communities truly accept all parts of me. 

·         I think it depends on what an individual is willing to give to the community.

·         With a pessimistic mindset, no. Each community that we are part of will fully accept us, but in our hearts and minds we must work to shine the light that is within each of us. 

·         So far, yes. Two more years until I find out who I really am. 

·         In community, we must be willing and able to accept diversity. That means being open to ideas, beliefs, lifestyles, and values that we don’t agree with, can’t relate to, make us uncomfortable and test our understanding of acceptance. 

·         Certain times, certain communities can accept me as I am, then there are others that cannot. I am too different and strange to them. I wish it were otherwise. There are times where they can handle all, or nothing, or some. It is also a question of how comfortable I am in the community and how much of myself it feels safe to share.

·         I feel that my community may receive a great deal of me, but reaching that point of being my most integrated self remains inside my own mind. I want the community to see me, but I don’t fully know how to let her out yet. 

·         Only if both sides want to.

·         Yes, I feel accepted. That’s one of the biggest reasons why I’m part of these communities. Community is what got me hooked on Quakerism and Ultimate…but that’s another story – Nate Secrest 

·         Part of my decision to live my life transparently means I try not to keep things from others, as I have in the past. My communities are accepting of who I am and I can say this because I keep nothing from them.

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      I would hope so but I have yet to feel that with this community. 

·         What we bring to the table is one thing. But what others are able to accept is often an unknown in the beginning. Come as you are with no reservations and you will often find the answers and friends you seek. – Olivia Louis Holmes

·         My communities all accept and love different parts of me. I have only found one community which I believe truly loves me fully. In QLSP there are still some topics that feel dangerous. That is to say that I would not feel comfortable sharing them.